All those heartbreaks and disappointments taught me one thing:
A man doesn’t choose you because you’re good. He chooses you because he is ready.
Ready for consistency. For accountability. For the type of love that requires showing up. Ready for a woman he can’t afford to lose because he finally understands value.
You can be everything: Loyal. Loving. Supportive. You can bring peace and patience, and softness that feels like home, and he still won’t choose you if he is more committed to avoiding responsibility than building a life.
You can’t inspire readiness. You can’t convince someone to be mature enough for stability. You can’t negotiate rank in someone’s life. Being chosen has less to do with your worth and everything to do with their capacity.
But I wouldn’t leave you hanging on that bitter truth, ladies. After everything I’ve learned, here is what I know now with certainty:
The right one, the one who has learned, healed, and outgrown his own self-sabotage, he won’t gamble with the kind of woman he once prayed for and finally recognises in front of him.
He will choose you with clarity. He will meet you with the same kind of effort you put in.
And one day, a man will cross your path who is ready to stand beside a woman who makes him better. And in that moment, you’ll be grateful for every time you were not chosen before.
