There are many infertility issues in relationships besides the obvious, not be able to conceive. One person blames the other or one feels guilty because there is still no baby. Each partner or spouse may “walk on eggshells” because they don’t want to make the other “go off” or hurt their feelings. Every time they learn that an acquaintance is pregnant, they feel a lot of anxiety. They get tired of the unsolicited advice given by people who are not professionals or have never experienced infertility. Couples do not know how to cope with not being able to have a family. All of these infertility issues cause a great deal of stress and strains the relationship.
Here are 6 effects of Infertility on Relationships
- Expectations
There is no doubt that infertility can take a toll on a relationship. Each partner tends to place expectations on their better half without considering their feelings and sometimes not being realistic. Just because you’re ready to seek help does it mean that your partner is ready to seek help. It could be because they’re blaming you or themselves. You will continue to have issues if you expect your partner to be ready when you’re ready, to feel what you feel would be willing to give up what you’re willing to give up. You are going through difficult times, but the expectations placed on one another during infertility should not be different than the other aspects of your relationship. Be sure to show one another respect and be courteous. Remember that a relationship often involves compromise and don’t judge your partner or spouse when they are to code in the same way that you are. Men and women think differently and deal with things differently so don’t expect this to change while you’re going through infertility.
- Financial Strain
There’s a significant financial strain place on people in the relationship during infertility. Over the course of multiple fertility treatments, the costs rack up and begin to cause a strain in relationship especially if both partners weren’t in full agreement on the amount they would spend. Couples can have medical cost in the 10s of thousands of dollars when it comes to medications and treatments such as IVF. This has a serious impact on the family’s household finances and some couples get into some serious debt. The stress of this factor alone is enough to break up a relationship. there are times when the partners cannot agree how they will pay the debt. Some partners Top may want to get a loan from a financial institution where other partners may want to borrow money from friends and family.
- Intimacy and Sex
If you did not have a healthy relationship before trying to conceive or finding out you had infertility issues, boy are you in trouble now! It is important to have sex based on your ovulation schedule when you are trying to conceive. The pleasure and intimacy you once experienced will be thrown out the window because you’re trying to have sex on demand. In order to keep the relationship intimate and pleasurable, couples need to constantly work at connecting with one another or they will get bored quickly. This turns into a “wham bam thank you mam sex session” and leaves one and sometimes both of the partners feeling unwanted. Try doing some things you did in your relationship when it was fresh, new and exciting. Set aside time to spend with one another that is not planned sex. If you truly love your partner, show them. Plant little kisses on their cheeks or forehead when they least expect it. There are many ways to show intimacy to your mate. Most of all, have sex when you’re not trying to conceive.
- Lack of Compassion
In a relationship each partner may display a lack of compassion when it comes to infertility. Women may get angry when they find out their husbands have sperm issues. Male infertility is a disease and likely genetic. It is not his fault, but his wife still blames him. Women will sometimes loose interest or withhold sex once they learn that the man cannot get her pregnant naturally. Not having sex with your husband is a huge problem. Men rarely loose interest in sex when they find out that the conception problem is due to the wife. They handle it a little differently. Some men believe that women were put on this earth just to be baby makers and if they can’t do that, they’re pretty useless. Regardless, if one or both people in the relationship is infertile, they should each show compassion for one another. If this is a struggle, seek professional counseling.
- Depression
Let’s face it, not being able to start a family that you have dreamed of all your life can cause an incredible amount of emotional chaos and make you constantly depressed. You may not only feel sad or a little teary-eyed, but you may find it difficult to get out of bad or be sociable with anyone. In a 2016 California study of men and women undergoing treatment for fertility, 32.1% of men and 56.5% of women reported symptoms of depression. It’s probably the last thing you think about, but your partner observes and feels the wrath of your depression which further strains your relationship. If you are consistently feeling like your mood is severely low, please get help.
- Grief
When most of us think of grief, we relate to someone dying but for couples battling infertility that is not always the case. Some couple grieve when their fertility treatment fails. They mourn and feel a loss for the life after the failed treatment. There are times when couples grieve because the family they have imagined does not exist or may never exist. Grief can come in many forms and sometimes goes unnoticed. Some counselors believe that when couples finally conceive and then miscarry that they grieve as if the child had been born. The pain they feel is unimaginable. Grief can lead to blame and depression and often ruin a relationship.
