How to Help Your Reactive or Fearful Dog

The 3 most important tips to help you with your reactive, fearful, or shy dog, and how to implement them to make your and your dog’s life better.

By Zazie Todd PhD 

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Listen to episode 39 of The Pawsitive Post in Conversation wherever you get your podcasts (Apple, Spotify) or below, watch on Youtube or below, or scroll down to read a transcript of the highlights.

How to help your reactive or fearful dog

If a dog is reactive, fearful, or anxious, often the dog is struggling–and so is their person. We share tips to help you to help your fearful dog, from the first chapter of Zazie’s book Bark! The Science of Helping Your Anxious, Fearful, or Reactive Dog. Bark! is out now in paperback and available wherever books are sold.

We talked about:

•     How important it is to recognize the signs of stress in dogs
•     Your priority is to help your dog feel safe
•     Pick a food your dog really loves that you can use to teach them to like the thing they are scared of
•     The kinds of food that are best
•     How to be prepared and make sure you have those tasty treats to hand
•     How to bridge and fridge
•     The importance of finding activities that both you and your dog love
•     Kristi and Zazie each share a story of a time something unexpected happened and they had treats to hand
•     And finally we talked about the books we’re reading.

The books we mention in this episode:

•     The Beaverton podcast (okay, it’s a podcast!)
•     The Home Cookbook, 125th anniversary edition
•     Otter by Jackie Morris

The books are available from all good bookstores including Amazon.

Also mentioned is a study on how people spot signs of stress in dogs interacting with children. 

Highlights of the conversation on how to help fearful and reactive dogs

Z: I’m happy to be talking about fearful dogs again because I think so many people whose dog is fearful or anxious, they kind of struggle. And obviously the dog is struggling, but the person is often struggling, too. So I think it’s really important to share a few things that will help people with this. 

But before we get into our tips, I think we should say, first of all, well done to anyone who recognizes that their dog is fearful, anxious, or reactive or shy or reserved, or however you prefer to call it, well done for recognizing those signs. Because not everybody does, do they? And I think it’s a really important thing to know because once you know, then you can start to do something about it.

And so many people, you see them with their dog and you can see that the dog is struggling if you’re good at reading dog body language, but the person hasn’t worked it out yet. So I think, first of all, well done anyone who knows that about their dog, I’m sure you’d agree.

K: Yeah, yeah, I know. When we were starting to think about this topic, it reminded me that I think you’ve written about a research paper about how well people do at identifying fear in their dogs.

And that I think, okay, correct me if I’m wrong, but it was something like people who are familiar with dogs are actually, they do a poorer job at identifying fearfulness rather than people who just, you know, you take someone off the street who doesn’t have a dog, they’re a little bit better at it. And I thought, oh, that is a little heartbreaking. 

So I really appreciate all of our listeners and everyone in the dog realm right now who’s really, like, making this attempt to be able to pick out what does a scared dog look like? What are they telling me with their body language and their behavior?

Z: Yeah, that’s right. It’s so important. And there have been a few studies on how well people recognize if a dog is fearful or not, but that one that you’re talking about, of people with more knowledge of dogs being worse at it, is actually from a study of dogs interacting with children.

And so it was the people with dogs were less good at recognizing when the dog was a bit stressed and not comfortable in an interaction with a child. And of course, in that situation, it’s so, so important to be aware of those signs and to step in if needed, and to be close enough that you can actually step in if you’re supervising.

You know, you have to be that close that you can’t be across the other side of the room if it’s a small child. So, yeah, it’s a shame really, that so many people miss signs. 

And I think everyone knows to look for a tucked tail, but some of the signs, like turning the head away, or licking the lips when they’re about to get a treat, or just simply moving away are things that people miss.

And the lower body posture and just sometimes kind of tension in the face around the eyes, like seeing the whites of the eyes, things like that. A lot of those are signs that people miss even in situations where they know that many dogs are scared, like being at the vet, for example. So lots of signs to look for.

K: Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Z: I think we have to add another proviso too, before we get into our three main tips, which is that we’re not actually talking about dog training methods today. We are going to take it as a given that you are using reward-based methods with your dog.

And we know that we have some amazing dog guardians and dog trainers who listen to this podcast. And that’s what you do. So we’re not talking about methods.

If you are listening to this and you do actually use shock or prong collars or leash corrections, or you yell at your dog, don’t do those things. Stop. 

If you would like us to do a future episode about dog training methods and why it’s so important to pick reward based methods, let us know. Actually, if you’re listening to this as a podcast, you can simply send us a text message. So you can do that if you want, or you can look us up and send us an email and let us know if that’s something you want us to do in future.

But for today, we’re just assuming that you’re using reward-based methods, namely you’re training your dog with food.

K: Yes, exactly. It keeps my mind safe.

Z: Yeah. And so many people do that, so it’s a useful assumption to make. 

So our first point, and these three points are actually from the end of the first chapter of my book, Bark! The Science of Helping Your Anxious, Fearful or Reactive Dog, which is available wherever books are sold. And so the first of those points is that your priority is to help your dog feel safe.

So safety for the dog, safety for you, but actually also that feeling of safety for the dog. And actually this is something that you speak quite eloquently to Kristi and you’re quoted in Bark! as saying that that feeling of safety is really important and it doesn’t matter if you can’t figure out why the dog is afraid.

K: Yeah, I think, I think sometimes, you know, if someone is with a dog and they can tell that they’re fearful, you get stuck in this rut of just sitting there in that situation going, well, what is she scared of? What is she scared of? 

It doesn’t matter. Just get out of that situation. Your first order of business if you see that your dog is scared is to be like, whoa, how can I put distance between whatever it is that’s scaring my dog and my dog? You know?

Z: Yeah. What can you do in that moment to help your dog feel safe? And this is why it’s so important to be able to recognize that they’re fearful and then to put distance.

So for example, if you have a dog who doesn’t like other and someone is marching towards you saying, oh, I love dogs, can I say hello? But you know that your dog is scared. Maybe they’re even already quaking. You have to stop that person from coming up and petting your dog, either by saying something to them or being very rude and saying, oh, I forgot something, you’re doing a turn and go.

And it’s your dog that matters in that moment. So, you know, whatever works to help you put distance, whether it’s saying, no, don’t pet my dog, she won’t like it, or actually just taking your dog away.

And similarly, if you’re walking and you see another dog and your dog doesn’t like other dogs, there’s a whole load of things you can do. Like you can just practice the turn and go beforehand so that you can just say, let’s go do a U turn. Go in the opposite direction. Or you can sometimes use like a parked car, or you can cross to the other side of the street, things like that. Whatever it takes to help your dog to feel safe.

K: And I know, like, as Canadians, potentially just as humans, being rude is sort of a little bit verboten for how we’re raised. So I think there’s ways that I do think it’s okay to be rude if you need to in the moment, like to protect your dog and you are also protecting that person or that other dog and that’s something. 

So allowing an interaction to happen where that person who’s coming up could be harmed is not okay. So I think we have a lot of check marks for, it’s okay to be firm right now. But if this happens quite a bit, if you live in a busy city environment and your dog needs to be walked to go to the bathroom because you live in a high rise or something like that, I think some, like, there’s some tricks of the trade.

Jean [Donaldson], I think she is the one who sort of suggested it’s okay to say my dog is sick or my dog has mange. Like, just so you know, even though it’s not true, they will say oh, I don’t want to pet a mangy dog, so that’s one you can practice.

Or another one that I think is potentially useful if you have enough time, pretend your phone’s ringing, pick it up, answer it, and then like, oh, scurry away. No one’s going to be upset if they’re like, oh, she had to answer a phone call. Rather than it being like, you can’t come close to my dog. You know, that feels very, like, not okay. 

Z: Right. 

K: I also think if this is something that you’re dealing with, practice it a few times so that it just flows out of you, you know, like, human coming. Oh, here’s my phone. Oh, sorry, you know, gotta run. Whatever you need to do. It’s okay if you’re faking a little scenario to get out of an interaction to keep your dog safe, your finances safe, and the other people are dog safe.

Z: Yeah, I think that’s such a good idea. And the other thing about saying, oh, my dog is sick, that also works if it’s someone else’s dog who’s running up to you. Because quite often if you say, my dog doesn’t want to meet yours. They’re like, oh, my dog is friendly. They think it’s not going to be a problem. They don’t understand that actually it will be a problem.

And so if you say you don’t want them to meet, they won’t pay attention because they don’t understand that. But if you say your dog is sick, they’ll be like, oh, they don’t want their dog to get sick either.

So they’ll be perhaps more likely to call their dog back or put their dog on leash or something. And this is also why it’s so important for people to keep their dogs on leash in a place where the dog, dog is meant to be on the leash.

Because people will pick those spots to go and walk, knowing that their dog should be safe from other dogs running up. And if someone goes there and they decide, oh, the rules don’t apply to me and they just let the dog run around, then that actually causes quite a few difficulties for other people sometimes.

K: Yes. And on the tiny flip side of that coin, if you have a dog who has to be on leash, an area where it’s an off leash area is not an area for you to go.

Z: Yeah. Because it’s not so good when on-leash and off-leash dogs meet. That kind of adds an extra layer of difficulty and stress to the situation because the dog who is on leash can’t get away.

And other things that you can do to help your dog feel safe, like the sounds of fireworks is something that can be a big problem. You can try and drown it out with other noises. You can shut shut drapes or curtains or blinds so that dogs can’t see flashes from, from lightning or from fireworks and things like that. 

You can’t necessarily get rid of it completely, but just do whatever you can to make that stimulus as least scary as possible. Certainly because you really want to make sure that the dog is feeling safe all of the time. 

But the other thing is you have to use management as well to make sure that everybody actually is safe. And it’s important to say, I think, any dog can bite. That’s something that many people don’t realize. And again, we talked about body language at the beginning, but a lot of people don’t recognize those signs.

And so they might keep approaching a dog whose body language is saying, no, no, stay away from me. And they would be at risk of a bite and they haven’t noticed those signs.

So you can use pet gates or you can shut your dog in another room or things like that. You can train guests to your house that they have to stay in this room and they can’t go to the other room where the dog will be or things like that, just to help your dog to feel safe. And again, it’s feeling safe. It’s not just being safe. It’s actually feeling like they’re safe and okay.

K: Yeah, yeah. I think that it’s easy to get stuck in sort of the perfect pet mindset of, oh, my dog should want to greet all of my guests or should… You know, you see a really friendly dog greeting the mailman or something like tha,t and if that isn’t your dog, then, you know, no, your guests don’t have to meet your dog. If your dog is scared of people, your dog doesn’t have to meet your guests.

You can give your dog a great chewy and put them in the back room. That’s completely fine. That’s actually a beautiful suggestion. You know, you’re doing your guests a service and you’re doing your dog a service.  I think that, that we sometimes feel a little bit weighed down by this.

Like should, should, should. Our dogs should be perfect. Our dogs should meet everyone. Our dogs should be friendly. Well, if they aren’t happy to meet other people, then you’re actually giving them a gift by keeping them away from people.

Give them a nice walk beforehand, put them in the backyard, close the door. You know, you’re just making things worse for your dog if they’re constantly being re-exposed to this thing that scares them, which is a training thing, but, you know, just to stick it in there.

Z: Yeah, yeah. It’s so important to protect them from those things and as well as maybe not having them meet guests if they wouldn’t like it. You also don’t have to take them for a walk if they don’t like going for walks.

So a lot of people with dogs who react to other people or vehicles or other dogs, they will find places to walk their dog where it’s quiet, or they will walk at times of day, like early in the morning or late at night when it’s very quiet. And that will work for some people.

But if you live in a busy area and maybe some days you don’t have time to go and drive to somewhere that’s quiet, don’t walk your dog that day. Just do the toilet breaks that you need. Find other ways to entertain your dog. And we’re going to talk a bit more about that. That’s kind of, our third point. 

But you don’t have to take them for the walk because you don’t want to be exposing them to all these other things that they’re afraid of again and again and again, as you say, it just makes things worse. And the priority is to help them feel safe. So I think sometimes for people, it’s quite a relief to know that they can pause those dog walks, because, again, that’s one of those things we think we should do.

We think we should take the dog for a walk every day. Not that everybody does, but we feel like we should.

K: Yeah, I would 100% agree with that. If your dog is scared of things outside or is, you know, maybe not scared, but is really reactive and you’re struggling with this. Absolutely. 

But as a separate little note, if you have a dog who likes walks, please walk them every day. A surprising number of people don’t walk their dogs, and I think a jaunt around the backyard is not a walk. So please walk your dogs if your dogs are happy being walked.

But, yes, if your dog is, you know, has some fear issues or is learning to handle being able to walk by other dogs or things they really want on leash, yes, we can give a pause. I love the word pause because it implies, like, maybe in the future, if we do enough training, your dog will get better. 

Or in some cases, like elderly dogs, they may not need that much exercise. A little tootle around might be enough for them.

Z: Yeah, absolutely. And since you mentioned walking dogs, I actually wrote in Wag: The Science of Making Your Dog Happy, I wrote about a study of what dogs do when they’re hanging out in the yard. And it is not equivalent to a walk at all.

If they just get left for a few hours in the yard. I think a lot of people think the dog will entertain themselves. But it was actually kind of a bit sad because the dogs in the study spent a lot of time moving around outside where the people were inside the house as if they would have liked to be with the people, but they were not getting lots of exercise. Yeah, so it’s deciding what’s right for your dog, basically.

So that’s our first priority. The main priority is keeping your dog feeling safe. That’s the really important thing. 

And then the second thing I put. Because this is at the end of the first chapter of Bark!, and I thought it’s really great to give people things they can do right away that will make a difference or start to make a difference, without having to get to the end of the book before you know enough to do something. 

So the second thing is pick a treat your dog really loves. If something scary happens, give them that treat.

Now there’s a whole load of training and technique that you could go into there but like when you boil it down to the simplest thing you can. So we already talked though the priorities, helping your dog feel safe so you would get them out of there first, put distance in the way first, but then have some kind of treat that they really love. 

And it might be chicken or roast beef or cheese of some sort or sardines, they’re a bit messy. Or some really lovely treat that they love, meatballs or whatever. These are human foods. I think that’s important to say. Human foods tend to be the foods that dogs love best. But you know your dog. So pick something they really love and use that as the treat for if something scary happens.

K: Yeah. I like those little tin cat foods, those little peel off containers that they’re a little plastic so they’re small enough that it’s not like, oh, I’ve opened this whole tin of cat food. But they’re so stinky and so delicious for dogs. They’re easy. It’s easy enough to have one here and there, you know.

Z: Yes. And the other thing like that that you get is those squeezy tubes. You can also make them, like you could water down pate cat food and put it in a squeezy tube. And if you’re giving it in a squeezy tube then you can actually use that to help move your dog past something. And it’s a bit easier than constantly grabbing lots and lots of treats to give to help to move them out of the way or to get them away from something.

But yeah, anything that your dog loves. I don’t know why dogs seem to like cat food as well as human food, but yeah, it works. And if you want to know more about the technique, there is some technique.

Probably one of the most important things about this delicious food is trying to create a nice surprise for the dog, like a really positive experience. So that instead of the thing seeming scary, they’re going to be learning to love it basically.

K: Yeah. It creates a predictive relationship. I think a treat that your dog really loves. But it’s also okay if you have different kinds of treats. Like, your dog may actually even get a little bit of a kick if you have like, cheddar one day and blue cheese next and then cat food.

So it’s okay if it’s like a little bit of a smorgasbord. And if you have a fearful dog and you’ve already been working on these, you will already probably have like a toolkit of delicious treats that your dog likes.

Z: Yeah. And something I didn’t used to know, some people say that you’re not supposed to give your dog blue cheese. But I happen to. I happen to know when I had Bodger, he did like it and it never was a problem. But anyway, I guess because it’s blue.

K: Yeah, so whatever is good for your dog. And if your dog is on a special diet, you can still find something sometimes within that range, even if, like, they’re on the kibble, then maybe the wet food from that diet can be something that will work in those situations.

And that might be when you want to add a little bit of water and put it into a squeezy tube, because that might be an easier way to deliver it rather than you don’t want to be carrying a can around and a teaspoon with a spoon. 

Z: Yeah, that’s a bit tricky. Like, if you’ve stationed yourself somewhere to do some training, then maybe. But if you’re just out on a walk and it’s a just-in-case that’s a bit awkward to do, you can’t say to your dog, hang on while I open the tin of cat food and give you a bit on a spoon. That’s a bit more tricky. 

But yeah, so that always is something that you can use. And if you’re really not sure, like your dog’s on a really strict diet, ask your veterinarian for what would work.

K: Yeah, so sometimes people will be like, oh, my dog has allergies and is only on this lamb and rice or kangaroo and oat or whatever. Ask your vet if it’s okay if you then get kangaroo meat and just give it. You know, cook it and give it to your dog because that’s a nice piece of cooked meat that’s in your dog’s diet already. It would be probably for your dog, a higher value, like a bigger wow factor than the kibble.

Z: Yeah, absolutely. And then the other thing is that you have to be prepared to do this. So you have to be prepared to do this at any time. So that means that you need your chicken or your cat treats or your kangaroo meat or whatever it is that you’re using to be available crocodile.

So you do have to actually plan ahead a bit. And so you think, well, okay, you cook, you keep it in the fridge. Maybe if you’re going on a walk, you need to take some on the walk with you. And if your dog knows it’s there, they’re going to just be kind of looking at you for treats all the time. But don’t give it. It’s only for those times when the scary thing happens and you’ve got your dog as far away from it as possible and then you give them the treat.

And there’s a lot more training technique in Bark! to explain how to do it. But these are just like easy tips to help you get started. And that basic principle of teaching your dog to love something that they were previously afraid of involves using wonderful, wonderful treats.

And sometimes people want to use kibble, and I kind of understand why they would want to because it’s easy for them. But it’s not going to work from your dog’s point of view because it’s not going to be a nice surprise for your dog when they just get, oh, a piece of kibble. That’s a bit boring. 

It has to be something that’s really quite special for the dog. Like you say, it can be variety too, but all of those things, they have to be special.

K: I think this goes back a little bit to the burden of should, oh, I should only give my dog food that’s very healthy for them. You know, should you? I think it’s, it’s okay to sort of pick into why we think that about our dogs a little bit.

Is it because this, you know, this moral imperative to keep dogs in their place a little? I sometimes wonder if that thinking all stems from that. Not that that we even actively feel that way, but it’s sort of one of the sort of packages of lessons that we got about dogs when we were younger or, you know, in popular literature is that they need all of these really specific rules.

I like to remind people that, I try and eat healthy, I give myself treats. You would not find me going more than a couple weeks without eating a potato chip. So if I give myself that, certainly we can give our dogs who we care about so deeply and we want them to have the most joyous life possible. 

So I give my dogs treats just because they love them, and that’s perfectly fine.

And I also think if the extra imperative of man, we really need to change this dog’s underlying emotional state. So it’s, it’s even more important. You know, they deserve it because they deserve to be joyful and have delicious food. But also, you know, we need to train. So if someone’s very resistant to the idea of using human food or really stinky delicious dog food,

I think that’s worth sort of picking apart in ourselves. Why do we feel that way?

Z: Yeah, and I think those older ideas that people used to think that dogs should just do what we tell them to and that really gets in the way, I think sometimes.

And another common misconception that people have is they think if their dog is like barking and lunging and so on, that they shouldn’t. They think wrongly that they shouldn’t give them a treat. But you absolutely should. 

But what’s happening there? Remember, our first point was your priority is to help your dog feel safe. So if they are barking and lunging and growling, you’ve not kept them feeling safe. And you need to get that distance in and get them out of that situation. But then you still should give them that treat because you’re trying to change their emotions. And that’s not anything that’s contingent on their behavior. 

But so many people are used to thinking that dogs just have to be so obedient and well behaved and polite all of the time. And I think it’s something that people sometimes find quite difficult to do. 

But giving those really great treats to your dog to teach them to like or even love something that they previously thought was scary, then that’s actually absolutely the right thing to do. That’s a really important thing to be doing.

K: I think a couple things is earlier you mentioned it’s important to be prepared. And I think that is absolutely the case. And I think if you have a fearful dog, it’s worth setting aside some time to think about, well, where can I keep treats?

You know, where does a potential scary thing that I won’t be able to control happen? So where can I have treats near there? And I like having shelf stable treats.

We have containers of shelf stable treats in various places in our house. Not for scary stuff necessarily. Our dogs are pretty unflappable. But for recalls or we’d happen to be like, oh, look at your toenail is long, I want a treat nearby. So we have like treats positioned around our house. 

But you can also do something called the bridge and fridge, where if something happens, say for example, like if Soleil is playing around on the couch and she hits the table with her tail and something falls, that would scare her. So I can immediately start going, oh, she’s a good girl.

And start doing that happy talk. Do it all the way to the fridge or the cabinet, pull out a little tin of cat food and give it to her. That sort of ability to tell her good stuff is coming will help her make the association that we were talking about earlier. 

So she’s like, okay, something fell on me. That was scary, but it meant I got this good surprise. So you can do that. You can happy talk and sort of jostle your dog along with your happy voice to get them to the treat.

Z: Yeah, yeah.

K: This other really funny thing that I think happened, I was in my car driving once with one of our foster dogs when I used to foster sled dogs, and it was right after a big winter or springtime snowfall, so we got, like, a meter of snow, and the roads were very poor, But they were only poor because it was spring in the sort of the lee of the trees. 

So I was driving along, and I hit a patch of ice on a gravel road, and I started to fishtail, and I went into the ditch. My first actual reaction was to reach into the glove box and get treats to give the dog in the back, because I was like, ugh, this must have been scary for the dog. 

So I was in the ditch, snow covering the car, just giving the dog treats, because, can’t let this happen without doing it.

Z: Wow. Yeah. That’s amazing. So prepared. 

K: So you’ve got to be so prepared that even if something like that happens, you’ve got treats. This is what we’re expecting. That’s like dog trainer level.

But I think I sort of realized in the moment, like, yeah, this is funny. And we were fine. The car was fine. It was like we slid into a pillow, but still.

Z: Yeah, yeah, but this is what to aim for. And again, I think sometimes people are a bit reluctant because they think, well, this means now I have to have treats to take with me on walks all the time.

But you can think about how you want to do that. You can have a bait bag if you want to. You can get an actual dog training pouch thing that you can put your treats in. Or you can just put something in a baggie and have it in your coat pocket, whatever.

K: I look at my fun bait bag that I have. I have very practical bait bags too, but here’s a super cute one.

Z: Oh, I love it. That’s awesome.

K: So bait bags come on a belt typically, and this one doesn’t close, but they typically kind of like either a drawstring close or they have a magnet to keep them closed. So your dog can’t self feed.

Z: Yeah, that’s awesome. Yeah, so those are really helpful things to have that you can get them all kinds of places, pet stores, certainly. And that really helps you to think. And it just becomes routine over time to always have your bait bag or your dog training pouch before you go on a walk so that you’ve always got something. 

And you know, I get that people would rather not have to do something, but your dog is fearful and afraid and it’s important that you do something to help them basically.

K: If you are of the type right now who doesn’t regularly carry treats with you on walks, first of all, there’s an aside you should be. Second of all, you’ve already learned to bring your leash, your poo bags, your keys, your phone. You know, we’ve already made these other habits. You can make the habit to get into carrying treats.

And then third, you will give it like a month and you will be like, how did I not have treats with me? If you want your dog’s attention, if you want your dogs to do anything, you have so much more control over your dog.

If you have their favorite thing in your pocket, you know, your relationship with your dog will improve scads. And you will become one of the team of like, how did I not carry treats with me on my walks before? It will make your walks so much better. Just having treats.

Z: Yeah, absolutely. And you never know what will happen on a walk. And I was out with Pepper just a couple of days ago and Pepper has lost most of his vision now and he actually walked into the gate and that wasn’t a nice thing to happen.

But what I like about Pepper is that he knows that if anything happens that’s out of the ordinary, he’s going to get a treat. So he walked into the gate, he looked a bit uncomfortable, and then he looked at me like, where’s my treat?

And of course he got one because he just had a bad experience. And we don’t want our dogs to have bad experiences. 

Okay, so that was number two. Number two was pick a treat your dog really loves. If something scary happens, give them that treat. And I think we could talk about all of these for a long time because there is so much that you could say. 

But I think we better move on to the third one, which is think of an activity that you do with your dog that makes them happy and that you enjoy too and do more of it.

There are several reasons for doing this. One of them is that it will help to improve your bond with your dog. Because being a fearful dog is hard for the dog. Having a fearful dog is hard for the person.

So it’s a really good idea to think of things that you can do together that you both will enjoy. And it’s just good for both of you, basically. But the other reason is we talked about you can put dog walks on pause. And this is also one of those ways you can replace those dog walks with activities that keep your dog feeling safe and still give them things to do.

There are so many different things that you can do. So you’re not going to run out of ideas of things to do with your dog. It doesn’t just mean you have to sit on the settee cuddling while you watch TV or something like that. There’s so many different activities that you can do. 

I think it needs to be something that the person enjoys too, because you want to do it and you want to keep doing it. So.

K: Yeah, I mean, you can play fetch down your hallway if you don’t have roommates or something that would cause that to be impossible. If you like that, if your dog likes that. I mean, Covid, I think really taught us that you can do a lot online and at home.

There’s great classes. Our colleagues from the Academy [for Dog Trainers] have such fantastic fun classes that you can take that are even sometimes just like a one hour or a one or two hour class, you know, like you can learn how to dance with your dog. 

Like you can literally learn how to dance with your dog and put on little performances over zoom for your family. Like there’s so much fun stuff you can do with your dog.

Z: Yeah, so many different things. And tricks training, I think all those kind of online classes or even if you just don’t want to put too much effort into something, there are so many food puzzle toys, or you can just hide treats, shut your dog out of the room, hide a few treats, let them in to find them. Within a couple of goes, they will be zooming through that door to come running to find those treats.

So there are lots and lots of different things that you can do, and they don’t have to be expensive either. Like you can make a snuffle mat for free that you can just hide bits of food in the longer loops of the fabric in the snuffle mat. And I mean, you can buy them if you prefer to buy one, but you can just tear up an old T shirt and make one or a towel or something and make one that way.

K: There’s a whole, like, you know, not industry, but of people who are like, how can I make my recycling into something my dog will enjoy? I mean, this just takes a bit of creativity. Not even creativity. Google. Google is your friend, you know, and there’s so much you can do with toilet paper rolls and egg cartons.

Z: Yeah. Or even if you just search for some of the things that shelters do, because shelters and rescues have to do lots of enrichment on a low budget. And they will have lots of ideas that you can copy as well.

You could get a cupcake holder, put treats in the bottom, put a tennis ball on top, so the dog has to remove the tennis balls to find the treats, for example. So many things that you can do. 

And it’s really helpful because I think when people get a dog, they have all these ideas of what they’re gonna do, and sometimes that dog turns out actually to be quite fearful or anxious, and they’re not gonna be able to do all those things that you wanted to do.

And that’s really hard for people to come to terms with. I mean, maybe you just can’t do it right now, but if you work with a dog trainer and your vet, you will be able to do it at some point in the future. But for some dogs, even that’s not likely. 

And so it really helps to think of things that you can do with your dog that you are going to enjoy so that you’re not just sad about the fact that they’re fearful, but you’re still seeing things that you love about your dog and that you enjoy spending time with them.

K: And if you’re not in a place with your dog or your dog is just going to never be the type to be walkable in your environment, but you do have a backyard, there’s lots of stuff you can do in your backyard too, like your dog probably wants to spend time with you. 

So if you’re out there with your dog playing fetch, playing tug, playing flirt pole, you know, or any of the other activities.

I’ve been working on my big dog Archer to play with me. He’s like three now. He’s just finally starting to get. I figured out how to get him to play and he’ll like gnaw on me with this giant, you know, just starting, you know, so people should know it’s okay to roughhouse with their dogs safely.

Z: Yeah, and a lot of people love to do that. And again, it’s one of those things that if you think of old fashioned ideas about dogs, some people think you shouldn’t, but of course you can if you want to and it’s safe, basically. 

Lets explain what a flirt pole is because I think I find that not everybody knows what that is. I think the easiest way to explain it is like a cat wand toy, except for dogs basically.

K: And some dogs just go, oh my goodness. They just love them.

You sort of flip it around, you can go along the ground, you can go a little bit up. Some dogs, especially athletic pitbull type dogs, this is what I’ve seen. I haven’t had a dog that’s that interested myself, but seeing them online, I’m like, oh man. And just, and so not that much effort for us humans. We just are kind of flicking our wrist and the dog is just chasing this.

Z: And I think the other thing then to recognize there is that every dog has their own preferences and we do sometimes need to do a little bit of work to find out. Is this a dog who wants to play tug? Is this a dog who would rather fetch? Would they rather be searching out treats and things like that? 

Because some dogs will love all of these things, but some dogs will, especially fearful dogs, might be a bit more restricted in the things that they want to do. And you have to, to put in a little bit of effort sometimes to help them to play. And also if they’re feeling safe, they’re much more likely to want to play with you.

So again, that first point, your priority is to help your dog feel safe, that’s really the most important thing.

K: If you have a very fearful dog and they’re playing with you, you are doing all the things right because like you say that’s a sign. So you give yourself a good high five if you’re at that point with your very fearful dog and they’re comfortable playing with you. Cause they’re definitely telling you that they’re, they’re feeling very safe.

Z: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, definitely.

So these are just tips to help people get started. It is by no means everything you need to know about fearful and anxious dogs. You could write a book on that, which I have.

So you can find a lot more information in Bark! The Science of Helping Your Anxious, Fearful or Reactive Dog. The paperback it out and it’s available now wherever books are sold.

I think it’s important to say if you’re struggling with your dog, you should get help. So look for a good dog trainer who is only going to use reward-based methods and talk to your veterinarian as well. That’s important too because there is a lot of, a lot of help out there if you need it.

K: Yeah, I think it’s a good idea to think that a very fearful dog needs a whole team.

Z: Yeah, absolutely. So if you’re struggling at any time, get help. 

The transcript has been lightly edited for content and style.

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